Have you ever had that expectation that something was going to happen, and when it did happen you knew you were going to be angry? It could be anything. Maybe the neighbour has a noisy car and at 6am every morning he gets in his car and wakes up the neighbourhood as he drives to work. Every morning this happens, and every morning you wake up in a really bad mood because of your inconsiderable butt-head neighbour. Not only that but now someone else is going to be on the end of your anger because of your inconsiderate butt-head neighbour.
First thing on a Monday morning, and now someone at work is in a bad mood, because you came into work in a bad mood, all because of your inconsiderate butt-head neighbour. And what is that person going to do…[skip a bit]…all because of your inconsiderate butt-head neighbour.
The sad part is, your inconsiderate butt-head neighbour has gone into work early because he needs the money. His car is broken, the exhaust has a hole in it and it sounds like he is driving a stock car every time he starts it up. He’s so embarrassed, but what can he do? He has to get to work or he won’t be able to get the car fixed.
All this while, every night you go to bed and a little ball of rage is growing inside because you know that at 6am your inconsiderate butt-head neighbour is going to rudely wake you up with his noisy car, and you failed to adjust your expectations or do anything to change your world. The little ball of rage that festers and grows every day because you don’t to anything about it. But what can you do? Thanks for asking – we’ll be looking at that this week.
Here are today’s three takeaways:
1 – We get angry when expectations aren’t met. Or sometimes we get angry in advance of our expectations not being met. Either way, we can change things by changing our expectations.
2 – The motives of other people may not be known to us. People struggle. You struggle. I struggle. At times we all hit panic mode and we do what we need to do, which may not be as refined as what we do when we are able to plan and think forward.
3 – If you get angry because your expectations aren’t met, don’t take it out on someone else. This is now second hand anger and an unsuspecting person shouldn’t feel your wrath for no reason beyond your neighbour having a noisy car.
Imagine how you would feel if one day you met your neighbour in the repair shop where you work, and he says “Finally I have saved enough money to get my exhaust fixed, now I don’t have to feel so bad about waking the neighbours.” What would it be like to realise that you could have helped your neighbour and your anger could have ended weeks ago if only you had offered a helping hand.
PS – I chose a picture of a cat because cats are amazing for depicting a whole range of emotional expressions as long as those expressions fall within the range of disappointment and hate.
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