Why do some people seem to be able to keep giving to others and never get tired, while others feel like all they do is give and they hate the world? How can some people be relentless is helping others and never get weary? I may have found a clue in a recent social media post I read.
In the post, the individual began by stating how they were looking for things to make them happy and experienced temporary fulfillment at the expense of others, and they would rely on others to fill the hole in their soul. They ended with discussing how they realized they had given so much of themselves. During a time they were taking from others, they didn’t realize how much of themselves they had thrown away.
Through trying to fill the hole in the soul, all that happened was the person had made the hole deeper. They were unable to fill it, and they didn’t know why. Sadly, this is a situation so many people find themselves in, and they feel that the only way to fill the hole is to take from others, but all they are doing is throwing more of themselves into the problem.
The irony is that the only way to heal from this, is to actually give yourself away. Self-actualization is a psychological term that basically refers to people meeting their full potential. The only way we can do this, to truly be the best version of ourselves that we can be, is to know the value we have in the world. And if we know we have something of great value, how could we feel like we are living up to our full potential unless we are using it to make our environment better and help others?
And this is the difference – Some people realize they have a great value and they gift themselves to others. They know their value, and they are above the need for others to fill their hole. They give themselves because they want to and because they can, and in doing so they are living an authentic life and adding further value to who they are.
Here are the three takeaways for today:
1 – There is a difference between giving and gifting. You can give anything away freely, but gifting has purpose, intent, and is personal.
2 – When we try to fill the hole in our soul with what someone else is offering, we are trying to find value in what they are offering us, not who we are.
3 – It isn’t easy to break a pattern. We throw garbage away every week. We don’t think much about it, it’s a routine. It will take a conscious decision and mindfulness to break the pattern of throwing ourselves away.
The hole in our soul is like a tooth cavity. Unless we fill it with something of substance that is designed specifically for the job, it will continue to be filled with the wrong things, causing more harm, and eventually infection.
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